Were you pregnant the first time you gave the Pelvic Floor ANY thought? Us too!

I don’t know about you but I didn’t think about my pelvic floor at all until I was pregnant.  Then there was that one horrifying day somewhere near the end of my second trimester in my first pregnancy - I was lying on the sofa when out of nowhere I sneezed and some wee came out.  I think I may have screamed I was so shocked.  My first thought was “what the hell was that!?!” closely followed by the second of “what have I done wrong, what’s wrong with me?” 

I have had my own journey with my pelvic floor (you can read here) and learnt a huge about about hypertonic pelvic floors, intra-abdominal pressure, breathing and movement patterns and tension; and what Anna Crowle discusses on our podcast (S2. E3) absolutely feels true to me. 

I also feel as though my initial treatments fed into this idea that I was weak and needed to work harder, that if I just stuck to all the kegels I would be better - talk about tapping into some negative self talk and limiting beliefs!  I actually feel pretty really pissed off now when I see that doing kegels is still the first (and usually only) thing suggested when googling help with prolapse symptoms.   What a disservice to us all! 

What had I done wrong?  I thought the 2 years of pilates I had done prior to getting pregnant should have prevented things like this.  I had never wet the bed, what was happening to me!  I very quickly adapted to the sneeze wees, making sure I would pause and squeeze before sneezing.   I discovered that squatting or bending during a sneeze was deadly and I consoled myself that no doubt the weight of the baby on my bladder was the cause and as soon as they were born the problem would go away. 

Flash forward 11 years later and despite tens of thousands of kegels, training as a Yoga teacher, doing 2 specialised programs, visiting a pelvic floor physio therapist for the last 5 years and being able to comfortably run 10K, I still, on occasion, have the odd sneeze wee. 

I have believed my pelvic floor was “weak” and “didn’t work properly”, I have felt huge amounts of shame around trying to help others whilst still struggling myself.  I have felt that this was one of the many reasons I was not “good enough”. It was so easy to convince myself that one missed session was the reason I wasn’t improving.  

So what was going on and what is the pelvic floor?

The pelvic floor is in fact, a muscle of emotion. Think about when you feel fear in your body - how you hold your breath and brace.  I have learnt about the fear of letting go or getting things wrong, and how your body is; as it always is; just trying to protect you.  When you think about the “letting go” needed to birth our babies you can see why feeling fearful might really physically interrupt what is happening. 

When birthing my second baby I began to push and my midwife said to me “don’t be afraid Clair”.  Those words were magic, my baby was in my arms within 8 minutes.  

If you are just coming to terms with some changes, perhaps you have a prolapse following birth or have been dealing with unexplained pelvic pain or are sick of weeing every time you sneeze, here are some of the things I have learnt along the way which you might find help:

1. Don’t put off seeking help - we are so often made to feel that our bodies not functioning properly is something we should put up with.  If your child was struggling with incontinence or pain I am pretty sure you would seek out medical help.  Don’t treat yourself with any less love and consideration.  

2. Find the right person - if you’ve listened to our podcast with Anna, you will know that not all pelvic health experts are created equal.  If the first person you see doesn’t resonate with you or the treatment offered makes no improvement, seek someone else - ask questions.  This is your body and you are the expert.  

3. Listen to your inner wisdom - can you tune in and hear that voice of truth deep within you?  The one that challenges the “just push through” message from your ego?  How do you feel?  What do you notice?  We so often seek validation outside of ourselves or defer to the experts.  Sometimes we already know the answers and what we really need to be doing.  (I’m going to suggest addressing stress, resting more and treating our bodies and hearts with more kindness may be a good start.)  What emotions are you feeling?  Is there a message your body is trying to communicate with you?

5. Be curious, not judgemental - If you believe that choices you made directly lead to problems with your pelvic health, don’t beat yourself up.  We are all, always doing the best we can with the information we have got.  Keeping yourself in that spiral of judgement and self pity isn’t fair to you and it’s not going to help you move forward with healing.  Learning new information and then using it to blame yourself for past actions is not what we are aiming for, be curious and openminded instead.  We can get stuck in a story about ourselves and continue to repeat it long after it has stopped serving us.  Can we start a new story that serves us better? And just in case you need to hear this - you are not your story!

6. Live your life - how quick we are to put limits on ourselves, most of the time because of fear?  Don’t close yourself off to joyful experiences.  If you need to adjust how you do things for a while, go ahead but don’t wait for an unspecified time or event in the future to start living your fullest life.  Don’t be afraid to find and try new movements and exercise that you enjoy - listen to your body and tune into your pelvic floor, soften, breathe, smile.  

I have come to believe my pelvic floor issues  (frequent UTIs, disastasis recti, prolapse, constipation, hip problems, sciatic/piriformis which have all shown up over the years) are linked to emotions and some limiting beliefs I have about myself. So this year I decided instead of seeking the next physical treatment I would try something different. 

Having been a huge fan of Dri Bri from Vibrant Pelvic Health (formerly FemFusion Fitness) for years her Transcend Program sounded like just what I needed; a deep dive into ourselves beyond the physicial.  I am halfway through and already noticing some shifts in myself.  I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you all in the future. Watch this space…!

By Clair McGill - LushTums Bristol and LushTums Director of Business Development