How do I know if I have Birth Trauma?
Have you ever wondered if your birth was “traumatic”? What does that even mean?
Often people feel like they have no right to complain because they have heard of births that were “worse’’ than theirs. Maybe because both they and their baby are ultimately healthy they believe it doesn’t matter.
When I first started teaching Pregnancy and Postnatal Yoga back in 2016 I knew not everyone would have their ideal birth (as much as I really wished they could). As I started working with families I realised the impact a difficult birth experience could have. I would see previously confident people overwhelmed with anxiety, people unable to rest and relax even when their baby was resting, people feeling unsafe and doubting their abilities as parents. People in physical pain that didn’t seem to ease no matter how much movement or massage they had.
Basically I could see people suffering. They were often trying so hard to move forward and enjoy their babies and the life they worked so hard to get but they were being held back, unable to feel joy, afraid they weren't making the right choices, constantly beating themselves up for events in the past fearful of their imagined future.
Does any of this sound familiar? Do you know someone who has struggled since having their baby.
Sometimes it’s not the birth itself but the circumstances around pregnancy. Some people experience anxiety from a difficult fertility journey or complications with pregnancy. Feeling on edge for the whole of pregnancy and then that feeling hasn’t gone away even though the baby is here. Lots of women struggle with feeding and are left heartbroken that things didn’t work out the way they wanted. Many things can contribute.
When I would see people struggling in my classes, I wanted to help. I would offer a listening ear and try and make their experience in my classes the best it could be. I was so grateful for my own yoga practice when I was struggling during my postnatal depression, I knew what a difference it could make.
But I wanted to do more. I signed up to do the 3 Step Rewind Training with Mark Harris in 2018 and he gave me the tools to do exactly that. Since then I have used the 3 Step Process over a dozen times and each time I have seen a noticeable positive change. It is so clear that something has shifted when I see them smiling after our session, their voices are clearer and stronger. They seem at home and confident in themselves. They find parenting is less overwhelming and have more resilience. They tell me they are feeling lighter and more "normal". People even plan for another child, something which might have seemed unthinkable at one time.
So this is your invitation - if any of this resonates with you or if you know someone who has described their birth as traumatic or difficult.
If you are: -
unable to relax or enjoy being with your child even during times when everything is going well
or it feels like nothing ever seems to go well
avoiding doing things
unable to talk about what happened without becoming overwhelmed
feel like you are “just going through the motions”
struggling to sleep
remembering what happened all the time without wanting to
I am here to say, you don’t have to keep suffering. You don’t have to let that one experience take anything else from your precious life.
Book your 3 Step Rewind Now or Find Out More here on our website.
Listen to our Podcast with Mark Harris here.
Lots of people wait a long time before they seek help - hoping they will feel differently and things will change. Sometimes they do, sometimes people find a way to help themselves or get good timely support somewhere else.
Others, I am sad to say, do not and I have had conversations with strangers in their 50's, 60's, 70's who still need to tell me about what happened to them. These women, whose anger or tears are still needing to be heard and acknowledged. Who have lived their whole parenting lives in fear of losing their child, or who were unable to connect with their partner after birth or force their attitudes on to new mothers. I am not the only one. Most birthworkers will tell you stories of women who share their emotional stories decades after birth. It breaks my heart that they are still suffering and that things might have been so different if they had received the right support.
By Clair McGill - LushTums Bristol